Example, one dude from high school, I contacted him, reached out to him for my ex best friend, she wanted to get set up with him. He ran game on me over the phone, he was interested in me, not her, for me a bang, a fuck, or a make wrong wrong, he wanted me to chase him, reach out to him etc etc or free sex.
All this to have a kid, not one of these people thought about this kid's future, a kid should have both a mother and a father not be born into a broken home. These two people, dude from high school and this woman, are psycho, only psychotic passive aggressive people do this to children.
So, I would suggest if you want to avoid love triangles and have a real marriage, a real loving home for your children, I suggest you meet them first and then the chase, not the other way around. The other way, they are gonna be thinking about you when they are fucking other women. Those other women are blow up dolls for you, that's the reality of it. Do you want to marry a man that does this to women and children? If so, then chase them and have sex before marriage.